My favorite poem

A couple of months before I left for my mission, I read a poem in the Ensign that spoke to me. I copied it out into my journal and read and reread it often in the MTC and on my mission. Whenever things seemed to get hard, I'd read it again.

I loved the images and ideas then, and now, over an actual decade later, the words and concept mean so much more to me. It's a lot more personal. I bet you can figure out why.

Physician

Mary Margaret Hawkins, Ensign, Apr. 1999, 5

Soul sick, I sought His promised balm
And soothing healer’s art.
He quick dismissed my shallow wounds
But studied on my heart.

A gentle salve was not prescribed
For the wholeness I desired.
A surgeon’s cutting to replace
My heart would be required.

In trust, consenting, then I begged
The method used on Saul:
One painful lance and three days dumb
Then sweet rebirth as Paul.

But by more common miracle
The healer works in me,
As day by decade soft He builds
New heart where none can see.

A tedious, mighty change is wrought
Till no cell is the same.
As in the fleshy tables there
He writes His word, His name.

Going through hard times myself is one thing. I know the Lord's working on me will take a lifetime. Going through this process of rebuilding Elijah's heart is another dimension completely. I had never thought to take all those scriptures about hearts literally, but now I won't ever be able to read them the same way again.

Eleven weeks

Elijah celebrated eleven weeks of life with a visit to the pediatric cardiologist.

He weighs 10 pounds 6 ounces, and he's just over 22 inches long, but not enough to call it a quarter.

His oxygen saturation was acceptable today.

The echo showed no leaking around the shunt he received in his first surgery. Excellent.

No more enalapril. That leaves us with aspirin, a multivitamin with iron, and prevacid once daily.

Elijah is doing great. All of the kids and I have had colds, and Elijah has developed a cough that may or may not be a cold symptom. He has had some mucous drainage, but no runny nose. The coughing can also be a side effect of the enalapril, and since "we don't really know if it makes a difference," the doctor decided to drop that medicine.

As he grows, he will begin to outgrow the shunt, and as a result we will begin to see his O2 sats drop gradually. The operative word being gradually, a sudden drop means a consultation with the cardiologist before his scheduled checkup a month from now. We get to keep the pulse oximeter for now so we can keep tabs on the oxygen situation.

This is all good news, and we are extremely grateful.

Still breathing

Elijah had his two month check up with his pediatrician yesterday. He weighs 9 pounds 12 ounces, is 22 inches long, and got three shots to keep his vaccinations current. The synagis shot didn't happen, but should get taken care of within a couple of days. I'm supposed to wait for the office to call me with an appointment, but I know how that usually turns out, so they'll be getting a call tomorrow from me.

I took Elijah to his appointment hooked up to the pulse oxygen monitor, and his sats were great all day. He made me nervous last night, though, because he kept dipping into the danger zone, and I actually got the oxygen out and all ready to give him, but then his numbers came up. The same thing happened this morning, so I have been a little more stressed than usual. So far he's always come back up, but now we're holding steady at 70. He has his check up with the cardiologist Monday, and if his O2 numbers stay in the 60s and low 70s, she's not going to be happy.

Mr. E is still eating regularly, and when he started wanting to be fed every two hours, we increased his bottle from 80 to 100 mL (3.33 ounces) per feeding. He is keeping it all down and much happier in between. I'm still pumping enough to donate some, and this is just another reason I'm glad I can. A sweet friend from high school sent me the link. Another reminder that faith is the only thing we really have to hang on to when life doesn't turn out like we plan.

I love that we're studying the New Testament in Sunday School this year because Ellen recently discovered the New Testament Reader (the one with the pictures for kids). We've already read the entire book. And tonight I found this awesomeness for my kids to watch before bed. I've been trying out all kinds of approaches to family scripture study, and this one is a keeper.